


Heatwave

by PinkAfroPuffs



Series: Fate/Slutty Meme Magus [4]
Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: F/M, Mutual Pining, Outfit Changes, mentions of uncle vlad, merlin definitely has adhd, moron x moron, thotty author dad away!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-23 20:21:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20212849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkAfroPuffs/pseuds/PinkAfroPuffs
Summary: Sometimes, when faced with bored immortals, it's just better to keep your mouth shut.





	Heatwave

**Author's Note:**

> i dont care what fate says and i also want them to shut up because Mordred said to not call him a girl so he's trans idc idc idc. anyway don't be confused by the pronouns. that's all!

“You know, Master, if you’re having trouble with stress, I can give you some advice on it.”

Ifumi took a very long sip from her coffee mug, taking in the strong scent to properly rouse her from whatever leftover fatigue rested in her bones. She leaned back against the table she’d been working at, and said, “Oh?” But that was all. It was Merlin she was talking to, and he often had a one-track mind.

“Mm, mm,” he nodded. “I _ am _ a healer after all. I know a thing or two about mental and physical wellness.”

“Hm,” she mused, then, because he was often predictable, she asked, “Is your idea sex?”

He shrugged, his robes gently fluttering when he did. She wished he didn't wear so many layers all of the time. It made her feel underdressed. “It’s always worth a try, isn’t it?”

Ifumi pursed her lips at him. “Are you _ really _ suggesting this for my well-being? Or are you just trying to get some?”

She wished he didn’t look so coy when he rested his cheek on his palm, comfortably shifting his weight one leg over the other in the chair he sat in. “Can’t I do both at once?”

He was always like this. It was altogether silly and comforting at once, to straddle the line of friendship and shaky flirtation. Somehow, he reminded her of home; of friends her age, of siblings who got her jokes because they surfed the same websites... Like summer nights in the backyard, with sparklers, soft, private kisses for only the moon to see-

She blushed. Silly. Merlin was Merlin was Merlin. The double-talking, free-spirited, irresponsible wizard of legend. Being smitten with him was a doomed endeavor, so she just wouldn’t do it! “You know what else you can do?” She begins, then shakes her cup. “I would like. A refill.” Anything to get the scent of flower fields and summer nights away from her. 

“Mmhm~” It was tough not to focus on his hands when he gingerly plucked the mug from her grasp. But then he leaned towards her a bit, his hair swaying so it brushed against the sleeve of her uniform, his robe’s- no, _ his _ scent- wafting into her nose in such a powerful way that she almost leaned into it. “Mmm…..but it would be nice to have some incentive to get it back quickly-”

“Go!” She shoved him from his back, but only enough to scoot him a little closer to the door. 

“You’re no fun, Master! But! Still cute!” He added, then turned down the hall with a grin and left her to savor the peaceful silence.

* * *

For some ungodly reason, the usual indoor heating began making Ifumi sweat. The inside of Chaldea was somewhat on the warm side, given they were indoors in Antarctica, but never had she felt like taking off not only her uniform, but changing into something closer to her exercise gear. The blue _ Arts _ crop top made her feel cool enough to go check on the other staff members to see what the problem was; after about twenty minutes of asking around, it became clear that it was a maintenance issue, and that the near extreme heat surge would return to normal temperatures soon. 

“Ugh…” She absentmindedly considered walking outside for half a second, but the very act would be not only stupid, but disasterous. The arctic was often unforgiving, and even in her usual outdoors gear, Ifumi had grappled with the fact that she didn’t even like the normal cold. “What am I supposed to-” She paused, suddenly realizing something important. “...Merlin never came back with my coffee!”

As if summoned, his scent reaches her before his person does; his voice, too, echoes a bit, as though he’s coming from a big room. “Masterrrrr…It’s hot, isn’t it?” When he glides out of the room, he’s fanning himself, and she’s a little surprised that even he has changed his clothes somewhat; instead of his long robes, he’s wearing whatever was underneath it, which shows enough skin and makes the kind of shape that distinctly reminds her of a black halter top. 

“You never came back with my coffee,” she begins, though the words feel forced as her eyes sweep over his person without her permission. For someone who looked rather thin with his robes on, his arms are a little… “Do you lift?”

“Hm?” When he fully comes into view, she sees his robe is tied around his waist, like a 2000s middle schooler. Actually, the whole action made her much more aware of him than she had been. “Do I what? And!” He wagged his index finger at her. “As for your drink-” She watched as he elaborately gestured a couple of times, once even going so far as to say, “Hm...is there something behind your ear?” before he swept his arm behind his back. When he pulled it back into her line of sight, her coffee cup was in it, steam coming out of the top. “Ta-da! I’m great, right?” His eyes twinkled as he flashed a peace sign at her. 

It was hard not to smile at it. “It’s still hot, huh…” And the smell… “Oh- You even prepared it the way I like it!”

“If I can’t do something so basic as keeping a drink warm or...something, something,” he muttered something about- liminal spaces? Wormholes?- and shook his head like it was nothing, “then I can’t call myself a Grand Caster, can I?”

“You’re silly,” she shakes her head. 

“I’m _ right _,” he tutted, and she laughed.

“You stake quite a bit on that title,” the cup tapped against the tabletop as she crossed her arms. “Aren’t there other things you’re proud of?”

He paused for a little too long; when his eyebrows rose and he became thoughtful about it, Ifumi noticed a shadow of discomfort passing across his features.

“I’m joking,” she hastened to say. “You’re good at a lot of things, after all. Didn’t you say you stumbled on your spells or something?”

“It’s not my fault that they’re all written in old tongues,” Merlin begins, and his shoulders relax. She didn’t even notice he’d been a mite tense before until then. “You can’t just say ‘wingardium leviosa’ with the right accent and get something to float, after all.”

Why does she feel like she knows that phrase? “Why not make new spells for more...I don’t know. Ease, I guess?” She shrugs, then takes another sip of her coffee. It’s good. Maybe too good. And it smells like caramel, which she didn’t think they had.

“You can’t just _ make _ -” He begins again, but when her eyebrows go up, he backtracks. “...oh, of _ course _ you can, but it’s very long and complicated, you see, comes with-”

“So whenever you tell me you’re trying to make a new spell, it’s just an excuse to run away,” she mused. “That’s a little nice to know.”

He holds up his hands, and if the lighting is correct, looks as though he’s sweating more than normal. “Now, now, Master-”

It’s a little too fun to tease him. “Well,” she sighs like a gracious queen, “I suppose I could let you off the hook because you put caramel in my coffee today.” She wants to say that she’s flattered that he remembered; there were many things that she’d said to him, pages upon pages of things that were inconsequential- but Merlin seemed to have a knack for grabbing those scraps of useless junk to curiously unfurl each disregarded paper to read its contents. She doesn’t say that, though. It would seem transparent. 

“You’re too easy to please, Master,” he teased. “Punish me anyway you want. In fact, I have a few suggestions, involving a little twine and-”

“I can toss a little coffee in your face if you’ve got a humiliation kink,” she adds, and for some reason, though the smile doesn’t disappear, he seems startled. It makes her feel a tiny bit self conscious about what she knows, which is a little funny. “What? You aren’t the only one who’s used the internet!”

He still seems struck speechless, curiously admiring her. “You seem to know quite a lot, Master...though I suppose that is simply the way of the world now, hm?”

She wrinkled her nose at him. “You really sound like a geezer now.”

“Acting my age has never been my specialty,” he mused. “Maybe it’s finally time to do it now?”

She crossed her arms across her chest, her gaze downturned into the near-empty cup. The term seemed to leave something to be desired; in the muddy bronze of the residue in the bottom of the cup, she’d never be able to see her own face. “Nah. I think acting your age is for chumps.” She’d never gotten to use the word 'chumps' before. “I don’t even know what acting 24 looks like.”

“I think it may look like,” he leans over her, “you helping me catfish Lancelot for a new watch~?”

“What!” She cried. “Why are you catfishing Lancelot this time! What did he do-” Actually, when she says this, she presses her lips together, because his eyes change just a little bit, gleeful but just the _ tiniest _ bit tense, but she could be imagining it. “You don’t even wear watches.”

“Hm? Ifumi, you didn’t want the watch?” He blinks innocently, the purple of his irises twinkling mischievously in the light. “I can get you something else from him. I promise. It’s on Lancelot.”

His leaning over her makes her aware of him again; though she’s got enough of her brain not to ask the same question twice, she does linger on how nice his arms and shoulders are. “I told you to be nice, though.”

He pouted. “No fun, hm? Then I’ll have to find something else to do.” He rubs his hands together. Just loud enough for her to hear, he said, “Maybe I should give someone an ‘adjustment’ for 24 hours, to see how it plays out. I’m sure such a thing would-”

At the word ‘adjustment’ with the appropriate air quotes, her head snaps up. “Wait. Wait a second. If you’re just bored, I can give you something to do.”

This seemed to have been his plan all along; his eyes widened when she said this, and he leaned so close that his hair brushed against her bare skin, their faces almost close enough to touch-

She leaned back instinctively, mirroring his wide-eyed expression before she cast her eyes about the room to search for something to occupy his time with. “Mmm-” Think, Ifumi! Maybe if she could think of something she wanted to do, or somewhere she wanted to go-

“How about you find a way to take me to the beach?” She blurted out. The heat must’ve really been getting to her; why else would she think of waves at her feet and cool drinks at this time? “We’re in Antarctica, and I don’t think we can use rayshifting for that.”

His eyebrows go up. “Hoh?” Then he looks up to the ceiling, thoughtful, and leans back. “A teleportation spell for two people?”

“No,” she said. “Eighteen or twenty. The beach isn’t fun with just two people,” she lied. “Besides, I really want a nice mixed drink, and I’m sure we’d need someone like...I don’t know. Someone who doesn’t just like beer!”

“Hmmm.” He nodded, hands on his hips. “I see, I see. I didn’t think you were so against me doing ‘that’ to someone that you’d suggest this…”

‘That’ also sounded suspicious. “If what ‘adjustment’ with your air quotations means what I think it means, yes.”

A wicked smile cracks across his face, though his gaze feels warm; he nods a tiny bit before he turns away from her, off to attempt whatever she’d actually given him as a joke task. “Alright, Master! Anyway, bye! I’ve got to get started.”

Then he left. Suspiciously fast, too.

* * *

When the heat at Chaldea finally subsided to more normal temperatures, Ifumi almost missed it. If anything, it reminded her of the stiffness in her neck and the long hours she’d spent on her feet since the whole thing began. The mini heat wave had lasted three days in total; she was glad for the staff when it returned to normal, but hot weather always felt relaxing to her, even the climate controlled kind...

She was a little grateful that they hadn’t found any Singularities in the meantime; maybe she did need to relax some before going into battle with her Servants again, after all. It would be dumb if she couldn’t run or something. If she died, her Servants would have no Master, yadda, yadda, and she’d already been chastised about taking care of herself by some other Servants (which was sweet, but getting old). Maybe she should be sneaky and ask Kotaro if he could give her a massage….

En route to Dr. Roman’s office, the ground beneath her began to shake. “Oh-” Good thing she was already going to ask him about any Singularities that might need their attention. “Doctor!!!!”

She doesn’t quite make it there; when the shaking finally stops, she stumbles and knocks against something hard. 

_ “...fumi? Ifumi~!” _

It’s sunny out. She cringes away from the light before fully opening her eyes, only to see a halo of white hair and shining purple irises hanging over her. He’s in particularly dark clothing, draped over him rather differently than his normal robes, and when she blinks up at him, he seems somewhat excited. “Oh, you’re awake, now.” Then he started mumbling about something she can’t quite understand. “That’s good! Do you have a headache? I’m told it can be disorienting-”

“Merlin, what the hell did you do?” She groused. Her back felt a little sore. “And wh-” Warm. The air was warm. “Where are we?!”

Merlin smiled so gleefully his eyes closed. “Sooo...remember that thing you asked about? The beach thing? Well,” he began, and she laid back again, this time more aware that what was beneath her was _ sand _ and not tiled flooring. 

“You didn’t….” She wanted to chastise him, but when she turned her head to take in the view, a volleyball net- complete with Mordred, Emiya, Cu, and Tamamo yelling at one another and playing the most dangerous looking game she’d ever seen- caught her attention. “Oh…” When she tried to force herself into a sitting position, Merlin took hold of her elbow and helped her stand up, which made things a lot easier. “How many..._ wow _, this is-”

“Hm, hm,” he hummed, clearly smug about the entire ordeal. “Are you pleased with it, Master?”

A couple of Servants- Nitocris and Nero- were playing in the water; underneath a spot with several blankets and umbrellas, Scathach is eating fruit and reclining as she “referees” the game to the right of her, and Dr. Romani, who Ifumi is a bit pleased to notice, has fallen asleep under the same umbrella with a blanket draped over his face. Someone has also partially buried him in the sand.

“...yeah. I guess I am.” She sighed to herself. “...except-” She didn’t really have any swim clothes… How could one say that aloud, though? “I can’t really get into the water like this, can I?” She was still wearing her Mystic Code uniform, after all…

“Worry not, Master! Your Grand Caster has thought of everything.” He still seemed a little _ too _ smug about the whole thing, and Ifumi felt suspicion bubbling in her stomach as he grandly gestured to the changing room near what looked like a nice bar. “You can change in there.”

“Hm…” She side eyed him. “You picked out swimsuits for me? If they’re even a little bit strange-”

“I didn’t, I promise!” He pressed his hands together in a praying motion. “I just asked Dracula!” Then, a bit calmer, he smiled, “Besides. It wouldn’t be much fun to grant your wish and not let you take part in it, hm?”

Silly. He was so silly! “...fine. And don’t call him Dracula to his face,” she whispered. “You know he’ll kill you. He’s a Berserker, you know.”

“Okay, okay,” he laughed, then he shooed her off to change. 

* * *

Uncle Vlad’s got good taste. There are three options available, and none of them cover her too much- she doesn’t like being treated like a child, and as far as she’s concerned, it’s been a while since she showed off her skin- or reveal her so scantily that she’d be afraid to run around in. The white-and-gold two piece ends up being her favorite; the contrast between her dusky skin against the cream-colored fabric is stunning. Was she always this pretty? It even came with a cute cover-up skirt in a similar color for when she was tired of swimming!

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you’ve really outdone yourself, Merlin,” she skipped over to where the flurry of white hair is stationed under an umbrella. She’ll have to thank Vlad, too, when she can find him. Her favorite Uncle is nowhere in sight… “Merlin?”

He doesn’t answer her. Instead, his shoulders peacefully heave up and down, and she rounds the umbrella to face him. He’s fast asleep. In fact, there’s a book on his face, covering his eyes as he reclines.

She sighs, but smiles a little to herself. “Thank you,” she whispers, then presses a kiss to his cheek. She hopes he isn’t faking being asleep; that would be a little embarrassing for her, actually, and she wasn’t quite ready to admit she liked him as of yet. But-

She shook her head and skipped off to the volleyball net. “Hey, everyone! I don’t know how much time we’ve got, but would it be okay if I had fun here too? I’m not sure how long we’re staying, anyway.”

Mordred turned to look at her, tossing the volleyball up and down in his hands. “Huh? Oh, Master, you’re out already. Dunno what you’re talking about though. Got all the time in the world.”

“Hm?” She flits about the other players and over to where Scathach is sitting. “What do you mean?”

“We’re stranded here. Old man can’t figure out how to get us back, so it’s going to be a while.” He shrugged. “Good thing there’s food, though, right?”

Ifumi’s hands pressed together. For a moment, she wasn’t sure of how to respond. Then, decidedly, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 

“I’m going to count to three,” she began, “and if someone doesn’t get me a margarita, I am going to scream. Then,” she tilted her head, “when I’ve had my fun, we’ll figure it out without me losing my mind. Sound good?”

Emiya immediately sprints off the field to get her a drink, and Mordred just throws his head back and starts cackling. “Was wondering when you’d say something about it, Master! Might as well enjoy it while it lasts, right?”

She covered her eyes. Somehow, she was beginning to regret giving him that celebratory smooch. “Emiya, please make that two.”


End file.
